Tubing :)

I love tubing. It is so much fun! one time, I was tubing with my cousins Sarah and Brianna, and I was tubing with my sister. The boat was going to fast, and she couldn't hold on, and the tubes crashed into each other. It was very funny because she turned upside down and she started riding the tube... UPSIDE DOWN. EPIC FAIL. It was really funny though because she fell off and no one noticed and I was just laughing my head off trying to keep my grasp on the tube while she was drifting away and yelling, "SOMEONE COME AND PICK ME UP! AHH FLOATING AAAWWWWAAAAAAYYYY!!!!!" Another time, I went tubing with my friend Ali. It was really fun because she only had one tube, and it was only supposed to be for one person, but, of course, we didn't want to be lonely, so we decided to try and find a way to fit both of us on the tube. Unfortunately, we didn't fit that well on the tube, and so, she pushed me off a bunch of times, but one and ONLY one time, I jumped off. It was because my bracelet fell off and I didn't want it to drown without me, so, I jumped off the second i saw it in the water, grabbed it at the last possible second, and saw Ali laughing her head off at me. It was funny, I will admit that. I love going tubing. If you haven't gone, well, BUY A TUBE AND A BOAT AND GET SWIMMING, MAN!!! :D

Humina Bobe the Old Man

It was a windy day when the man crossed the road and went into the bus station. It was almost night, as the sun was setting fast. The old man began to get scared. He knew that his granddaughter would be very angry if he missed her birthday. She was turning 16 and he didn't want to miss it. He waited.. ..and waited.. ..AND waited... Suddenly, he saw a squirrel in the foggy distance. He was shivering in his beaten and torn up coat. The squirrel came over to cross the road, but, that's just when the bus came. The man felt the warm, salty tears trickle down his cheeks. He loved animals so much. When he looked up, he saw the squirrel at his feet, just lying there, curled up in a little ball. He was very, very confused. The squirrel squeaked to the man, "Hi! I'm Jiggle Muffin. What's yours?" The man just sat there. The squirrel yelled. "HELLO! SIR! I AM JIGGLE MUFFIN! WHO ARE YOU??" The man said with a cracked voice, "You just died. That bus ran you over. How did you..."
"Of course I did. I have 5 more lives left."
"What??"
The squirrel burst out laughing, as if he knew everything there is to know. "You know how cats have 9 lives?"
"Yes."
"Well, squirrels are the REAL animals with 9 lives. Have you ever seen a cat get funny run over and still walk straight as if nothing has happened, like I just did?"
"No."
"Well, now you know. Where 'ya headed?"
"My granddaughter's birthday party. But I don't know what time it is. It's very dark and I think I missed it."
"Hm.. well, I'm going to check my watch then!"
"Squirrels wear watches??"
"Yea. Duh. You do too, don't 'ya?"
"Well, yea, but I'm not wearing it right now."
"I can tell. Hey buddy, I never got your name."
"Humina Bobe."
"Well! Butter my butt and call me a biscuit! That is one honkin' name!!"
"You don't like it??"
"Hey. Listen to MY name. Of course I like it. Jiggle Muffin. HA! I love saying my name!"
"So now how are we going to get to my granddaughter's party?"
The man stood there with a very sad face, as if something had just crushed his heart.
"Well, we could:
a. Get a ride on my Ninja-Mobile
b. Wait for the next bus
c. sit on my back and we could FLY LIKE THE WIND, MAMAJAMA!!!"
"Hm... Number 3 sounds good to me!"
"Then LETS GET TO THAT PARTY!"
The man and the squirrel start to fly off into the distance. They crash into a clothes line. They could hear people from below yelling.
"Woah!"
"It's a bird!!"
"No, it's a plane!!"
"Is that guy wearing my underwear???"
The man looked on his head and realized... he was wearing that guy's underwear! he threw it in a puddle and no one ever saw it again.
They finally got to the party when it had turned to 9:30.
"Wow," The man gasped. "I thought it was much later than that!"
"Well, ya gotta trust a squirrel!"
"True that, mamajama!"
They walked into the party and realized... IT WAS THE WRONG ONE. The man had a heart attack and the squirrel just froze.
"MAMAJAMA!!! WAKE UP MAMAJAMA!!!!!"DON'T LEAVE ME HANGING!"

...........

In the paper the next day:


MAN AND SQUIRREL DIE TOGETHER AS BEST FRIENDS! JULY 15TH 1993

A man and a squirrel were found dead at a party. After research, the hospital found out that they both had a heart attack. They were left untreated for too long and they didn't make it to see the sunlight. It was very tragic. After much more research, the hospital found out that the squirrel had died after the man. At first, we hadn't a clue of how the squirrel met the man. I guess we'll never know. We did find something, There was a piece of paper found in the man's pocket. It read:

JIGGLE MUFFIN AND HUMINA BOBE: BEST FRIENDS FOREVER. BEST FRIENDS LIVE LIFE TOGETHER; BEST FRIENDS DIE TOGETHER. Friday, July 13th. 1993

Stream of Consciousness: Fall

I fall too much. I fall all the time. There is this one picture on my friend's iPod that says: CAUTION! It takes skill to fall on a flat surface. Funny saying, huh? Well. I HAVE TOO MUCH SKILL!!! Actually, it's quite funny. Not really. I'm just saying that. Because I am. Because that's what skilled people do. Ha-ha IM SO SKILLED its not even funny actually it is because as I'm reading this I'm probably laughing just kidding I'm probably not just kidding I'm walking on a stick just kidding I'm walking on air just kidding I can fly so y would I need to walk on air just kidding I cant fly just kidding I'm a ninja I can fly just kidding I cant fly its impossible just kidding I'm so annoying just kidding I'm really funny just kidding I'm hilarious HAHAHA!!! :) timers up. Good bye! (I realize how much this does not make sense, but that's just me!)