Author's Note: One night, while eating a bowl of cereal, I thought of the idea to make a story about a man named Clyde who fails quite often without even realizing such a thing. Also, I wrote this because I needed a piece to improve my goals.
Hi, my name is Clyde. I decided to start writing this diary. I'm not sure why, I mean, I am a grown man. I suppose I could call it a journal. That would sound more manly. So, there you go.. It's a journal. Anyways, I decided not to write the date on the top of each journal entry because I often don't remember the date. That's okay, though. I guess my journal shall just be original. Well, I'm counting this as an introduction to my new journal. I'm going to stop writing for today. Goodbye.
Today was the most embarrassing day, EVER. I started my day by driving to Monkey Joe's, only to be informed that it was for children 12 and under, and unless I had a child myself, I could not enter. I stormed off, and found a spot of bird poop on my car. I decided it was time to wash the car. To save money, I wanted to wash it on my own. Only after did I realize that it was raining the whole entire time I was washing my car. Not only did I waste money, but I made myself look like a fool in front of my new neighbors. It was mortifying.. Anyway, I think I'm done for today. I don't want to rip my little pink notebook in anger.
Well, I did it again. My wife currently hates me.. I guess I had it coming. Today, I took my child to the zoo. Me, being an overgrown infant, spazzed out over the pandas. While in my freakish state of mind, I had completely forgotten about my child. She had wondered off into the.. Who knows where. I couldn't find her, and my wife had gotten furious. Anyway, when we got home, my daughter wouldn't so much as look at me and my wife told me I had to spend the night on the couch. This stinks.
I woke up and groggily hoisted myself up. I decided I need to make it up to my daughter. I decided to walk to the store and purchase an iPod touch for her. She instantly forgave me. Well, that's good. My wife forgave me, too. I think I frightened her a little, though, because today, without thinking straight, asked her what channel TMJ4 was on. I felt so stupid. She laughed at me. Oh well.. I have my moments. My friends call me a blonde. I have brown hair. I don't understand.. That's alright, I suppose.
I AM DONE WITH THIS DUMB DIARY, journal, thing.. I am sick of failing. And I am not going to continue sharing my fails so that one day my grandchildren can read about what a loser their grandpa was. I refuse to be recognized as that strange crazy failing man that no one would like to be. I am throwing away my little pink journal. GOODBYE, DIARY!! You will not be missed.
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